Well, Josh is gone for the weekend paying tribute to his childhood friend's last "hoorah" as a single man, so I have been left here to be entertained by my thoughts all day, which at times can be quite bothersome.

First let me talk about this Bachelor/Bachelorette party tradition. I think it's a load of shite, is meaningless and just an excuse to party and perhaps engage in some risqué behavior. First off, if you are in a trusting, committed relationship, there is no last "hoorah". Marriage shouldn't be anything different, in my mind. Marriage is not really something I view highly upon anyways because of how we have twisted and shifted what marriage means. I believe in commitment, in love, trust, respect and I actually do believe there is one person out there best suited. I don't believe that I have to swear to an imaginary "god" that I am committed. I am confident enough in my relationship that we are meant to be, and I don't need a certificate confirming this. So, the idea that a man to be married thinks it's ok to get it on with a stripper the week before his wedding is quite frankly disgusting to me, and shows me nothing about respect. Its distasteful, barbaric, and slimy. Call me a prude, I don't care. I am well aware of the biological defferences in men and women, and I don't buy that as an excuse either. Those men who need variety should not get married. Men with higher IQs (read more evolved) are better at being monogamous. I actively ciphered the men with a wandering eye out of my life. I refused to accept that as a reality. And I have never respected or trusted a man the way I do with Josh. His heart is pure, and he is a better person than I. I learn so much from him.

I don't go along with tradition, just because. I don't need a bachelorette party, just a day with my bridesmaids that would include primping, relaxing and beautifying. Some good, wholesome female bonding. I don't need or even have a desire to get wasted, and go clubbing wearing obnoxious bachelorette gear. I don't even enjoy getting approached by men now. I was in line at a store today and some military guy started conversation with me. I try to be polite, but I am very uncomfortable with it. I hate it. I typically always am out with Josh, so I haven't had that problem so much. Perhaps I'll buy a cheap, fake wedding band for these occasional days on my own.

With all that said, I am not opposed to getting married. I just don't view it any different. I live with Josh, we equally contribute to mortgage and bills, we have trust, and an incredibly healthy and successful union which I have NO doubts about. I KNOW he is the man for me, after several years looking in the wrong direction, but all the time pointing me to this path. I would love to marry him, and make our families part of our happiness, and for me to take his name, and to get some benefits here and there. Also, I will be more accepted here in the bible belt ha! But I prefer a life that is t so conventional and planned out. I like how my parents did it, and I think myself and my siblings all benefitted greatly from our up bringing and philosophies. I also would love a great dance party, and Josh already talks about songs for the playlist.

He has been gone a day, and I miss him. He'll be back tomorrow before the Panther's play their first game of the season. I just bought some Panther gear, so I'll be prepared. I am in charge of making snacks which will include ham and cheese biscuits, pizza, onion rings, and Maybe some fruit for myself!

Marxy is sleeping on the bed with me, and has turned into the sweetest, best trained dog I have ever met. Josh and I are so in love with her! We got pretty lucky. She knows "no", she knows her name and listens to commands. We have some more training to take care of, but at 5 months, she's doing great!

I am not looking forward to 5 full days of work ahead. It's draining, even though I have a fairly easy job. Last week was rough because I had to interview two bipolar hypertalkatives with psychosis. Hard to stay on task and focused. Gives you a headache trying to organize what they are saying. Josh sometimes teases me and says completely random, nonsensical comments which gives me the same reaction.

I am now sleepy and should rest my delicate mind. I hope my rants weren't too irritating.

Good night!