So I wasn't as doomed as I once thought...

I washed my face with acne cleanser on Saturday night, and woke up yesterday with extremely swollen eyes. I had an allergic reaction to the stuff, and my eyelids and area around my eyes are still red and puffy! I look ridiculous! I also feel sick today, it's cold and rainy and worst of all, it's Monday!

Not the best way to start the week, however I am itching for 5 pm when Josh picks me up. We have lots of work to do in the next few days...tonight I am packing up all my clothes and hopefully have the bedroom and closet packed up ready to go along with the records, cds and dvds. I wish I had more energy, but I'll make it through. We officially move in Wednesday, and then we get to look forward to unpacking! I am really excited though- I am looking forward to decorating, getting a sweet rug for the living room and possibly a bedroom set. Next weekend we're heading to Atlanta for a wedding, and Niel Young on the way back in SC Sunday night. I love long weekends. The following weekend, we get to pick up our baby Marxy! She's been on the puppycam often lately, and is one of the most calm pups out of the bunch. I can't wait to do puppy classes with her! The new house has a greenway walking distance, so an excellent area for walks and runs with the pup! This summer is going to be incredible! I know I say this in every post, but really- I am so so so happy. Josh continues to amaze me! You know when you are dating someone, and you want to believe that they are right for you, but you always have that doubt in the pit of your stomach? I have had that with everyone I have dated- but I don't have it at all with Josh. I feel so free, comfortable and at ease. Some people think commitment equals being tied down, trapped...and yes I have felt that in the past with basically everyone I have dated. I have never felt so myself, so at ease and honestly, so free. I don't do things for the sole reason of staying loyal- I don't do things simply because I have absolutely no desire to do them. I am 100% happy with life, and I wouldn't change a thing.

I have a whole new perspective on relationships...I would always say that there's no one perfect and you sometimes have to suck up their faults. I would always expect something wrong, which is why I had such negative feelings about marriage- I thought people married just so they wouldn't be alone, and that very few are actually happy together. This probably is still true, but for me I never wanted to get married because I felt like I would always feel that doubt. I would always feel like there was something wrong...so it would never work. I had people tell me 'even with those feelings, you learn to make it work'...in which I responded with why...you shouldn't feel those negative thoughts. Perhaps I was over anxious, or just a negative nancy...now I know I had those feelings for VERY good reasons. Your intuition is very wise, even if you don't want to listen to it at the time. You can deny it, numb it and repress it, but it's there for a very good reason. It's what has helped our specie evolve the way it has. I am so glad I listened to my gut. I have never felt this kind of happiness. Ahhhh...


I am so happy with where I am today!