I forgots...

I kind of created the previous post very quickly and definitely forgot a few artists/albums that I need to mention (for my memory too as reference while making the album):

Joanna Newsom- Have one on me

Yeasayer

Beach House (How did I forget them?!)

jj

Tame Impala

Sufjan Stevens

Caribou- Swim

Deerhunter

Perfume Genius

Avi Buffalo- Avi Buffalo

Charlotte Gainsbourg- IRM

I again, still need to listen to a few. Laura Marling is one...my Dad has mentioned her earlier, and I still have not given her album a chance. I also haven't really given Arcade Fire's album a chance. We watched their special that was online this summer, and their interviews really turned me off. I was not impressed with them as individuals...however no reason to ignore their album, which got rave reviews this year. Anyways...back to work, and I shall continue working on the album this weekend!

XOXO Kate

Kate's best of 2010

I am going to begin making my best of 2010 album, and send it via mail in the next month...doubtful it will be delivered to Canada before xmas.

I am going to list some of my favorite albums/artists of 2010:

Tennis - Their E.P. Marathon is incredible, even if it only consists of a few songs! (click on band name to listen to them).

Warpaint - These ladies blew me away with their single. Click on the band's name to hear more from this incredible band... Shadows is another favorite. The end of the song "Composure" has Thom Yorke written ALL over it. Saw them live, and was VERY impressed. Beautiful voice. I wish I could put their whole album on the best of 2010.

Gayngs - I heard about them a few days before we went to see them at Cat's Cradle. I was blown away. Often times, when I don't know the band's material, I get quite bored and uninterested at live shows. It always takes me a while to "get" an album. This was an immediate love.

Dark Dark Dark - Absolutely love this group. We literally just missed seeing them live while we were in NYC due to our massages taking too long. I was extremely disappointed. Reminds me of Beirut, but with a female vocalist.

LCD Soundsystem - One of the best albums of the year.

Glasser - She opened for Gayngs, and she reminded me of Bjork, which is a flattering comparison.

Gorillaz - Another one of my favorite albums of the year. Damon Albarn is something else. Empire Ants is probably my favorite or second favorite single of the year.

Moon Duo - Excellent to relax to.

Crystal Castles - They did it again. Their sophmore album is a lot lighter than their previous, and I really enjoyed it.

Jonsi - Unbelievable artist/professional. I have the most respect for him. His live show at Moogfest was life changing. It was one of those moments where a memory was formed and will remain for a lifetime I am sure of it.

Broken Bells - Danger Mouse is a genius. James Mercer (of the Shins) and Danger Mouse created a very fun, easily listenable album that I really enjoy.

The Black Keys - Brothers (also produced by Danger mouse) is fabulous. I actually just bought it yesterday for my commutes to Butner. I don't have an ipod connector in my car yet, and Josh had credit at Best Buy, and yes, I really really enjoy this record.

Ween - One of my favorite discoveries of 2010, even though they have been out since the late eighties. I am obsessed.

Bonobo - Dark Sand is the perfect chillout album. I like to listen to Bonobo to get my mood perfectly calm and collected.

The Knife - Since there hasn't been any new Bjork out, I get my fix through The Knife.

Jim James Solo - I really enjoy Jim James in his most soulful, and intimate moments. I had a large dose of MMJ this past year with our NYC trip (while 13 weeks pregnant and still feeling the effects of the first trimester). My favorite however was our trip to Nashville in a very small, great sounding theatre and having the opportunity to hear just Jim.

These are just a few of the artists I would like to include in this year's album. I may get Josh to create the album cover, because he is very good at such tasks!

My laptop has been broken since the late spring (I just need a new power chord), and have predominately been using my Ipad, which you cannot really download illegal music on...so I haven't listened to as much new music as I would have liked...but that's ok. I have had plenty of good discoveries this past year! I need to give Flying Lotus' album a good, solid listening to as well. I was torn between them and the Black Keys last night, and chose Black Keys because I thought it would help me wake up in the mornings where as Flylo would probably set me into a relaxation mode where I would slowly coast to work. I could be wrong, however.

Stay tuned for further developments! :)

New Blog

Hi!

Check out my new blog:

www.babyonthewayfashion.blogspot.com


I just started it, so it's a little rough, but it will continue to get better and better!

<3 Kate

Dreams/Nightmares

I am 26 this Sunday. When I look back on my past (ages 18-25), I feel a bunch of emotions. Embarrassment, proud, accomplished, regretful, ashamed are a few feelings that come to mind. Being pregnant, we are blessed with some wild dreams. The purpose of these dreams are to sort any bothersome issue that we have subconsciously stored away in a vault, in our brain. The issues come out during our sleep, and we get to cope and confront some bothersome situations. I have not had any anxiety dreams about Josh leaving me, or him cheating on me. I like to think this is due to me currently feeling very secure and loved. We don't have any bad history as some couples do. We started out strong, and haven't had any bad moments of lying, or any action where trust has been threatened. On the other hand, I have had weird dreams about past relationships and how miserable they made me feel, and they turn into nightmares without any monsters or chasing. Just the thought of not having Josh in my life fills me with anxiety and fear. It's not that I dream of him leaving me. It's the dream that I had never met him. And it's true...I have been in bliss for the past 9 months that I forgot all the pain, confusion and "little girl lost" that I experienced before. I have been lucky that I have been awarded many great opportunities: College education while playing soccer, and a good job almost right out of school in Raleigh. I have been able to stay in shape, and continued to be ambitious. I was so confused, filled with anxiety from ages 18-25, and that disappeared when I met Josh. Some people need help in balancing their lives. I helped Josh balance his life, and he has helped me. And I don't think there's anything wrong with being codependent. Sure, I think it's great when people are capable to do everything on their own, however I would like to argue with the self proclaimed "independent" that they aren't as independent as they may think they are. We are social beings. We have needed people. We started out in small tribes, and relied on everyone within that small tribe for support and well being. There is nothing wrong with this. We need our families, and we need our friends. There should be no shame in accepting that. I know my parents are codependent, and I know Megan and Joe are codependent. I think when one feels like they are 100% fine on their own, it weakens the bond. I don't believe in relying on one person for EVERYTHING, but some of my weaknesses aren't as troublesome now as they were before. I felt like I would always feel confused, and never content with my current situation. In every relationship before Josh, I felt such doubt and anxiety that it was not right for me. As much as I would try to make it work, something within me told me that it wasn't right. My subconscious feelings have a way of trickling out. And thank god I did not lie to myself. It was very painful and unpleasant at times. I would disappoint people.
Luckily, I feel the best I have ever felt, and I feel like it's here to stay. I woke up this morning so thankful that this is my life. I don't know how I deserve it.

We are looking at cars on Saturday which will be my birthday present. We wish we didn't have to do this so soon, but the move looks like it's happening, and I will be on my way to Butner. I am excited for the change, and hope the transition is smooth. It will be nice working in a brand new hospital, but it's a shame there's a shortage of office space. We will be lucky if we get a desk. Oh, the brilliant architects that didn't build the hospital large enough! I am hoping to return to work with kids, and I am looking into working with special needs children in education. As a new mother, time off is very important. And I want to be very active in the child's life. I want to be there for sports, and events. Teaching makes sense. I am going to look more into this while on my "maternity leave". I am accepting that I have chosen Raleigh, NC to live, and I need to stop comparing NC to Ontario. We have cheaper cost of living here, a beautiful house, and less taxes...haha. You have to think positively!!! I am happy here, and glad that we don't have winters as severe as Ontario. That alone improves quality of life!!!

I am 18 weeks tomorrow, and we find out the baby's sex next Friday. We can't wait!! And I can't wait to begin planning the baby room. I love being pregnant, and feel great!!! My immune system is going strong! While others around me seem to get sick, I have been able to avoid the virus'! I don't know why this is...but I am not complaining. I however, cannot wait to get back into shape after baby is born. They have the cutest new years dresses in Express, but I will be rather large then, so the cute dresses will have to wait until next year. I can't wait to be a mama. This has been the best year of my life.

Annie Hall

I watched Annie Hall for the first time last night. I found it equally endearing and irritating for obvious reasons. Obviously it's an excellent film, and I love the plot and the clever interruptions, but Woody did frustrate me on several occasions. How could someone possibly be THAT neurotic?! But that's the humor, and I did laugh at him on seveal occasions...especially the scene with the spider in the bathroom, the lobster part and the scene when he's trying to back out of the parking spot in his rental, and the interaction with the police officer. I am sure the more times I watch it, the more I will enjoy it. But what I did not agree with was the 'thesis' of the film...that relationships are irrational, make us crazy, but we need the 'eggs'. I would have completely agreed with this, say, a year ago. Until you find the right person to be with, relationships are chaos, full of great and awful moments. Since meeting Josh, nothing in my life has made more sense. I shudder to think of what life was without him. You all of a sudden feel such happiness, all the time. Everything fits in the right place. Daily tasks become easy. Your favorite thing to do becomes simply engaging in conversation with your partner. You don't need extra stimulation. You are happy in the healthiest of ways. When there is no stress or worry, when its 100% mutual, and you get things done together. It's the most incredible relationship I never would have imagined exists.

We do things equally: we clean equally, we share our money, we look out for our family's best interest at all times. We don't lie. I have, to this date, not caught Josh in one lie. I read people well, and I get good senses when things aren't right. He is always honest with me. He has been absolutely incredible during my pregnancy. He encourages me to eat better, and save money, even though I do get frustrated with this from time to time. Food and shopping are my weaknesses, what can I say...I love him. And I could go on and on...

We are going to watch Manhattan soon, and I wish to show him Scoop because I feel that movie gives you an excellent dose of neurotic and old Woody Allen. I wonder if his thoughts are still the same today given that he has been with his unconventional wife for years now!

To find true love, you have to experience failure. You have to learn and grow up. You have to be fairly balanced and self sufficient. It can be a painful path there, but it is absolutely worth it.

New York and 35 mm film

On our trip to NYC, we visited a lovely little place called Marie Belle's, which specializes in chocolate. I enjoyed the best tasting white chocolate cinnamon hot chocolate, and strawberry and banana crepe with chocolate sauce. It was unbelievable. On our voyage back to the subway to head back to the hotel, we stumbled upon a Levi's sponsored photography event. Levi's rented a space, hired industry professionals, and provided free vintage camera rentals. You can also make t-shirts with pictures you took printed on them. I got a shirt with a picture Josh took when we went to see Thom York in April. Our friends Sara and Garryd rented a german camera from the 1950's, and these are some of the pictures they took. It was such a neat experience. Josh rented a black and white polaroid, which only produced 8 pictures. We should have used a 35 mm camera, but oh well. Enjoy!

Josh and I waiting for our friends to enjoy "The Chip Shop"...incredible fish and chips!

Josh holding me tight at the subways. I love pictures you don't pose for.

Friends!

It' s my life!!!!!!

Yes, yes it has been a while. I have been fairly busy to say the least. We are heading to New York City for a fabulous week beginning Saturday! We are staying at the Carlton Arms hotel with a bunch of friends, heading to five My Morning Jacket shows accompanied with T Bone Burnett's Revue show, and a free show by one of my new favorite groups of 2010- Dark Dark Dark at the Cake Shop! We also are going to see King Kahn on the Saturday we arrive. We have bought Groupons for basically every meal (if you do not know what groupons are, let me know. They are incredible money savers), and I will be receiving a 70 minute professional massage on Saturday! I will get to check out Topshop in Soho, and a thrift Maternity store that looks incredible! Oh yes, I am pregnant! I am 14 weeks this week! Josh and I are so excited! We are so in love, and it just seems like our lives together are progressing beautifully. I would not change a thing! He is going to be a wonderful father! I do feel like the luckiest girl in the world. I arrived back from my Recreational Therapy conference only to find him in the kitchen with the vacuum! Ha! We laugh all the time, and I have not one bad thing to say about that man! He is the best thing to happen to me!!

Anyways, over the past months I have neglected this blog. I apologize. Here are some updates:

1. I am pregnant (already been discussed!)
2. America has no maternity leave- only "family leave" which is up to three months with no pay. To say the least this issue has stressed me out as of late because we have gotten quite used to our monthly income of 5,000+. To take my salary away for three full months would put a damper on things to say the least. We are having to begin saving now, putting away at least $500 a month. This is going to make coming home for christmas and buying presents very difficult. I am not able to get a car, and will be creative in paying for gas by hitching rides with my coworkers. Also, the cost of daycare is INSANE all to have some complete stranger look after my sweet little baby. We are looking into options, and Matt (Josh's younger brother) may move in, and live in the spare bedroom. While I work, he will care for our babykins. Josh comes home for lunch anyways, so it won't be terrible. We will have to get our third floor furnished however, which is around 5,000 to complete. A baby doesn't cost much in itself, but holy shit daycare is expensive as hell. I refuse to pay half my salary so a stranger can see my baby smile for the first time.
3. We are hopefully getting our third floor complete and it will be the baby nursery and playroom. It is a very large room, and I hope to have very soft, fluffy carpet for the crawling days. We will have the crib and everything up there, as well as a couch and a television. It has it's own walk in closet, and bathroom. It will be lovely.
4. Dorothea Dix Hospital is closing. Because it is located in a very desirable location downtown Raleigh, politicians have been wanting to get rid of the mentally ill so condos can be placed on the "hill" that Dorothea intended for psychiatry. She placed the hospital there because she felt it was important for patients to be able to have a beautiful, nature filled landscape as it is very therapeutic. The campus is intended for walks, as part of therapy (perhaps she was the first recreation therapist!). Instead, politicians have created the brand new and sterile Central Regional Hospital, far away in the boondocks where there are no open spaces for the children to play kickball, and no landscape for patients to walk. You would think it's 2010, and we should know how to treat our mentally ill. No, not the case. They have cut funding for community services, and there's rumors the other psychiatric hospital which has close proximity to downtown Raleigh is closing. But get this: They are building a new psychiatric facility within the PRISON to assist with the increasingly large inmate population with mental illness. OH HOW Humane! How lovely of the state! Close the hospital, and place them in the prison. Make it so difficult for these very poor individuals with little to no resources to have appropriate out patient care, so they end up lost in their delusions and hallucinations thus causing problems for the general public, and perhaps they will end up arrested, in prison, or dead. The sheriff has publicly stated how many problems will arise if Dix closes. The politician Casler who is in charge of the public mental health care system lied to everyone stating that he asked for money to keep Dix open. He never asked for the money. Wake country is the largest county in North Carolina with not near enough resources. I am SO angry.
5. It really sucks working for the State. I want out. They do not offer you raises. A person who has worked 15 years is making the same as a new hire. What the fuck. What honestly would keep me working for them? Get me out!!!
6. I want to go back to school, but with our little bundle of joy this may be difficult, but I am going to research into grants. I will sign my life to a company if I promise them two years of my life if they pay for my tuition. I am going to look into it. If I am forced to be a working mom, I might as well get the most out of it. I would love to be able to provide our babies a beautiful backyard like the one I grew up with.
7. I miss my family. Especially with our new addition growing in my belly, I want to be close to my sisters. I want their babies to know my baby. Maybe one day, we will return to Canada. Maybe. Still many pros and cons going both ways. According to a article I read about quality of life, US was ranked ahead of Canada on the basis of convenience. Huh? Sorry, I'll take the health care over being able to buy a loaf of bread at 2 am (you can do that in Canada too... I don't really get the convenience argument). Shopping and restaurants are better in the US however. And taxes are lower- not that I care if they are higher if I get more from it. I feel like I get very little with the 30% of tax I am giving to the government.
8. I am worried about my baby to be raised in the educational system they have here. It's pretty shite in comparison to other countries, and I do NOT want our babe to have US propaganda shoved down it's little, sweet throat. I don't want to be overbearing with my views either- but I don't like biased education. I know Canada is the same too... and I know our babe is going to have our genes, so it will be open minded and observational. I shouldn't be worried, really. Plus, Old man grandpa Painter will have eye opening lectures to help with the educational process!
9. We think we are having a boy. His name will be Jack. It was my great uncle's name, who died in the war (I think?!). Jack Jarrett. He sounds famous already. If it's a girl with Josh's mediterranean coloring, her name will be Layla (dark beauty), and if she's fair like me, her name will be Elle. We are so excited!
10. I am exercising and refuse to be fat! I want a cute big belly, and fit everything else. I am excited to get my belly so I don't just look like someone who has eaten a whole cake for breakfast, for the past month. I think it will be here within the next month.
11. I REALLY want to come home for christmas. We might need some help. We might not be able to buy presents this year. We need 6,000 dollars by April. It's rough street. Donations are welcome!!!
12. Josh is really cute when he sings along to songs, without me knowing that I am watching him (what he is doing right this second).
13. I am training Marxy for our ravine walks this December. She does have "noodle" hind legs due to her patella's not being in the right place. Poor little pup. I am determined to get her muscles strong so it won't be too difficult for her. The problem is common with little dogs, and she's only 11 lbs. full size. She continues to look like a puppy, and find her to be absolutely adorable. She's very lazy though. And she loves to cuddle.
14. I will hopefully see Patrick next week for a day.
15. I am enjoying work as of lately, and am anticipating the move in January to Butner. I will be looking for jobs perhaps with UNC Chapel Hill Hospital after the baby. I will need a car if I change employments.
16. Here are some pictures Josh has taken over the past few months.





I would add more, but the computer was taking hours to load pictures.... Perhaps another day, another time. I love you all. See you soon. <3>